


this chat will be the end of us all

by orphan_account



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Humor, Toph Gets to Curse, Toph Gets to Curse 500+ Times, aang just wants everyone to calm down, and she can play animal crossing because she’s great like that, because chatfics are fun, gaang chatfic, groupchatfic, katara is done with toph’s bs, katara texts like a mom, mostly just vine humor but with the gaang, the animal crossing debacle, toph refuses to stop her bs, toph uses voice to text don’t worry, ty lee discovered coffee and it’s terrifying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25714966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A Gaang (+ a few others) chatfic because I wanted to. Will be updated when I get an idea and have the stamina to write it down. Only T because Toph swears. A lot.Me: *posts this* haha gaang chat toph can finally curseMe now: *sees this has 100 kudos* hOW
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Katara, Toph Beifong & Sokka, Ty Lee & Mai, Zuko/Mai
Comments: 25
Kudos: 131





	1. In Which Animal Crossing has Taken Over

**Author's Note:**

> avatar_aang: Aang  
> southernwatertribe.katara: Katara  
> boomerangguy: Sokka  
> blind-bandit: Toph  
> firelord-zuko: Zuko  
> kyoshiwarrior1: Suki  
> emptyvoid: Mai  
> circusgirllll: Ty Lee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aang just wanted someone to play Animal Crossing with...

**avatar_aang:** hi guys

  
**boomerangguy:** hey

  
**firelord-zuko:** hey

  
**avatar_aang:** sooooo i have a request

  
**blind-bandit:** fuck what now

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** Toph, please.

  
**blind-bandit:** toph thank you

  
**avatar_aang:** moving on

  
**avatar_aang** my request

  
**avatar_aang:** can anyone play animal crossing with meeeee

  
**avatar_aang:** im lonely

  
**boomerangguy:** i would but i lost my switch

  
**blind-bandit:** what a motherfucking idiot

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** LANGUAGE

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** i have your switch sokka

  
**boomerangguy:** oh thank god

  
**blind-bandit:** oooOOOoooOOHHHHhhhh so you have his switch do you

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** i’m his fucking girlfriend

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** he gave me his switch so i could play animal crossing because i don’t have one of my own ok

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** Do any of you have verbal filters?

  
**blind-bandit:** not a chance sweetness

  
**emptyvoid** it’s midnight

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** and your point is

  
**avatar_aang:** ye and i need someone to play animal crossing with

  
**firelord-zuko:** fine

  
**firelord-zuko:** i’ll play with you

  
**avatar_aang:** YAAAAAAAAAAY

  
**emptyvoid:** i guess i will too

  
**emptyvoid:** since i have nothing better to do

  
**avatar_aang:** THANK YOUUUUUU

  
**avatar_aang:** YOU GUYS ARE THE BESTTTT

  
**blind-bandit:** i have animal crossing

  
**avatar_aang:** YAAAAAAY

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** But you really don’t want to play with her...

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** She’ll literally destroy your island. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

  
**blind-bandit:** wow thanks for giving away my ulterior motive now no one will ever play with me

  
**circusgirllll:** ILL PLAY WITH YOU TOPH!!!!! <3

  
**blind-bandit:** thank you ty lee

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** ty lee what are you doing awake

  
**circusgirllll:** ummmmmm i wanted a snack i think

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** we have a sparring match early tomorrow morning

  
**circusgirllll:** oh

  
**circusgirllll:** ill be fine tho!! <3 <3 i can just drink a lot of coffeeeee

  
**emptyvoid:** great, ty lee on caffiene

  
**emptyvoid:** just what we needed

  
**boomerangguy:** suki please get her under control

  
**avatar_aang:** so who’s playing animal crossing with me again?

  
**firelord-zuko:** me

  
**emptyvoid:** me i guess

  
**boomerangguy:** i would but suki still has my switch

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** bummer for you

  
**blind-bandit:** me

  
**circusgirllll:** MEEEEEEE

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** Play nice, guys.

  
**blind-bandit:** hehehehehe

  
**blind-bandit:** HEHEHEHEHE

  
**blind-bandit:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** well we’re fucked

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** L A N G U A G E


	2. In Which Toph Has Poor Judgement (but we already knew that)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toph, honey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> avatar_aang: Aang  
> southernwatertribe.katara: Katara  
> boomerangguy: Sokka  
> blind-bandit: Toph  
> firelord-zuko: Zuko  
> kyoshiwarrior1: Suki  
> 

**blind-bandit:** how do you pick a lock

  
**blind-bandit:** for some reason this one won’t metalbend

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** TOPH NO

  
**blind-bandit:** asking for a friend

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** Sure.

  
**blind-bandit:** mind ya own fucking business katara

  
**firelord-zuko:** i can pick a lock

  
**firelord-zuko:** what kind of lock is it

  
**blind-bandit:** ummmmmmmm

  
**blind-bandit:** fuck

  
**blind-bandit:** whatever kind of lock they use on those fucking deposit boxes or some shit like that

  
**avatar_aang:** am concerned

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** Toph, what are you up to this time?

  
**blind-bandit:** i already told you to mind your own fucking business

  
**blind-bandit:** fucking nosy-ass bitch

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** Excuse me?

  
**blind-bandit:** oh, did i send that?

  
**blind-bandit:** i meant to just think it

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** Turn on your location.

  
**blind-bandit:** why

  
**souternwatertribe.katara:** I’m coming over there.

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** And I’m going to waterbend your ass in half.

  
**firelord-zuko:** aang get your gf

  
**avatar_aang:** katara please

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** This has gone on far too long.

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** I refuse to suffer through any more of this.

  
**avatar_aang:** katara—

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** This is my fight, sweetie.

  
**avatar_aang:** ok

  
**firelord-zuko:** aang wtf

  
**avatar_aang:** i know better than to argue with her

  
**blind-bandit:** zuko would know better than aang on how to deal with katara

  
**blind-bandit** he knows about girls going insane more than aang does

  
**boomerangguy:** LOW BLOW

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** toph that was really uncalled for

  
**firelord-zuko:** location, toph

  
**blind-bandit:** psssh try me bitches

  
**blind-bandit:** yall know yall can’t beat me

  
**boomerangguy:** all of you please just 

  
**firelord-zuko:** try me

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** Turn on your location, Toph.

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** desperate times call for desperate measures

  
_**kyoshiwarrior1** removed **blind-bandit** from the chat_


	3. In Which Katara Uses All-Caps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one steals from Katara. No one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> avatar_aang: Aang  
> southernwatertribe.katara: Katara  
> boomerangguy: Sokka  
> blind_bandit: Toph  
> firelord-zuko: Zuko  
> kyoshiwarrior1: Suki  
> emptyvoid: Mai  
> circusgirllll: Ty Lee  
> 

**southernwatertribe.katara:** WHO TOOK MY POLAR BEAR DOG FIGURINE

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** THAT WAS A GIFT FROM SUKI

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** WHO DID IT THERE WILL BE BLOODSHED

  
**blind-bandit:** what does it look like

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE.

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** WHATEVER. IT’S A THIN SILVER CHAIN THAT GOES ON MY WATER POUCH WITH A TWO-INCH ENAMEL CHARM OF A WHITE POLAR BEAR DOG ON IT

  
**circusgirllll:** suki has good taste!

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** thank you ty lee

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** NOT THE POINT

  
**boomerangguy:** katara

  
**boomerangguy:** please calm down

  
**boomerangguy:** you’re scaring me

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** THAT’S THE POINT

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU PLATYPUS-BEAR-BUTTS TOOK IT HAD BETTER GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW

  
**blind-bandit:** platypus-bear-butts? really?

  
**firelord-zuko:** it wasn’t me

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** AHA

  
**firelord-zuko:** honestly it wasn’t me I’m in the fire nation you’re in the earth kingdom right now

  
**firelord-zuko:** we aren’t even in the same country

  
**avatar_aang:** he has a point

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** FINE

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** IT WASN’T ZUKO

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** BUT IF THE THIEF DOESN’T FESS UP RIGHT NOW I’M GOING TO SLOWLY WATERBEND EVERYONE’S ARMS FROM THEIR TORSOS UNTIL SOMEONE TALKS

  
**emptyvoid:** and I thought i was good at threats

  
**circusgirllll** it wasn’t me!!! i swear!!!! i’m in the fire nation too!!!! so is mai!!!!

  
**boomerangguy:** i know your wrath too well to ever try to steal from you again

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** again?

  
**boomerangguy:** when i was thirteen. involved a otter-penguin and a bowl of bad kelp stew.

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** i’m getting this story later

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** but for now—it wasn’t me, katara

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** i believe you

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** and that leaves

  
**blind-bandit:** you called?

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** AHA

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** HAND OVER MY FIGURINE, TOPH

  
**blind-bandit:** gasp. i’m offended that you would even consider me a suspect

  
**blind-bandit:** you know i’m a paragon of virtue

  
**boomerangguy:** i call bullshit

  
**avatar_aang:** even though it probably was toph, pls don’t kill her katara

  
**blind-bandit:** hey!

  
**blind-bandit:** just because a girl likes scamming people and breaking laws doesn’t mean she’s a thief!

  
**boomerangguy:** your username is literally the blind bandit

  
**blind-bandit:** ...

  
**blind-bandit:** shut the fuck up

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** i’m giving you one last chance.

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** hand.

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** it.

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** over.

  
**blind-bandit:** and i’m telling you.

  
**blind-bandit:** i.

  
**blind-bandit:** don’t.

  
**blind-bandit:** have.

  
**blind-bandit:** it.

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** LIES

  
**blind-bandit:** YA WANNA GO SUGAR QUEEN?

  
**blind-bandit:** BECAUSE I CAN EARTHBEND YOUR SORRY ASS INTO THE GROUND ANY DAY

  
**avatar_aang:** calm down!!!!!

  
**avatar_aang:** this can be solved peacefully!!!!!

  
**avatar_aang:** deep breaths!!!!!

  
**kyoshiwarrior1:** ....no offense, aang, but i don’t think that’s going to work on them

  
**boomerangguy:** NEVER FEAR GUYS

  
**boomerangguy:** I FOUND IT

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** WHERE?!?!!!?!

  
**boomerangguy:** momo had it

  
**boomerangguy:** he was trying to eat it i think

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** oh thank god

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** sorry for suspecting you toph

  
**blind-bandit:** no hard feelings

  
**blind-bandit:** *additional hard feelings

  
**southernwatertribe.katara:** hey!


	4. In Which it is Ponytail Remembrance Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember the awfulness that was Zuko’s Season 1 hairstyle? The Gaang isn’t about to let him forget it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> avatar_aang: Aang  
> southernwatertribe.katara: Katara  
> boomerangguy: Sokka  
> blind-bandit: Toph  
> firelord-zuko: Zuko  
> kyoshiwarrior1: Suki  
> emptyvoid: Mai  
> circusgirllll: Ty Lee

**boomerangguy** : do you know what day it is~

**southernwatertribe.katara** : It’s Thursday?

**boomerangguy** : yes but besides that

**blind-bandit** : it’s the day of reckoning

**blind-bandit** : it’s where we all die a fiery death

**boomerangguy** : close

**boomerangguy** : it’s the anniversary of the first time we met zuko

**firelord-zuko** : thanks?

**boomerangguy** : and may I remind you

**firelord-zuko** : oh no

**firelord-zuko** : please don’t

**boomerangguy** : THIS WAS THE HAIRSTYLE HE HAD

**boomerangguy** : [ponytailzuko.png]

**kyoshiwarrior1** : ASLDKKSLJASF

**kyoshiwarrior1** : I FORGOT HOW AWFUL IT WAS

**firelord-zuko** : STOP

**circusgirllll** : you looked like that?!?!?!

**boomerangguy** : i MuSt ReStOrE mY hOnOr

**firelord-zuko** : PLEASE STOP

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Oh yeah that used to be your catchphrase!

**blind-bandit** : looks fine to me

**firelord-zuko** : thank you!!

**firelord-zuko** : why do you always do that

**blind-bandit** : lol

**blind-bandit** : but can someone pls describe it for me

**blind-bandit** : i need to know

**southernwatertribe.katara** : So when we first met Zuko, he looked like an onion.

**firelord-zuko** : I DID NOT

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Well, he was completely bald except for a ponytail at the back of his head.

**southernwatertribe.katara** : It was awful.

**blind-bandit** : im so sorry you all had to see that

**blind-bandit** : B-)

**boomerangguy** : toph why

**avatar_aang** : i thought he looked more like an egg with a tail

**firelord-zuko** : whyyyyy

**emptyvoid** : tbh i would never have dated you if you still had that hairstyle

**avatar_aang** : he had a crap ton of daddy issues too

**blind-bandit** : join the club

**firelord-zuko** : is it make fun of zuko day or something

**blind-bandit** : yes

**boomerangguy** : yes

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Yes.

**kyoshiwarrior1** : yes

**avatar_aang** : yes

**circusgirllll** : yes <3

**emptyvoid** : yes

**firelord-zuko** : well then

**boomerangguy** : ok, we’ve all seen ponytail zuko

**blind-bandit** : no we haven’t

**boomerangguy** : but have we seen

**blind-bandit** : never have and never will

**boomerangguy** : PIGTAIL ZUKO

**boomerangguy** : [pigtailzuko.png]

**avatar_aang** : MY EYES

**kyoshiwarrior1** : THEY BLEED

**southernwatertribe.katara** : SOKKA PLEASE STOP

**emptyvoid** : why would you ever show us that cursed image

**circusgirllll** : I CAN FEEL ITS BAD AURA THROUGH THE SCREEN :O

**boomerangguy** : MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**boomerangguy** : THAT IMAGE SHALL HAUNT YOUR NIGHTMARES

**blind-bandit** : not mine

**firelord-zuko** : i’m going to have all of you thrown in prison for treason or something if this keeps up

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Sure you will.

**firelord-zuko** : if we’re on the topic of hair

**blind-bandit** : we really weren’t

**firelord-zuko** : katara, i was meaning to ask you. what is it with your hair loops

**boomerangguy** : they’re her Thing(tm)

**boomerangguy** : she’s had them since she was old enough to do her own hair

**southernwatertribe.katara** : He was asking me, Sokka

**southernwatertribe.katara** : But yes. My mother let me pick a hairstyle when I was six and I liked this one and I’ve stuck with it

**kyoshiwarrior1** : i admire your dedication

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Thank you, Suki.

**circusgirllll** : i think your hair loopies are cute! ^-^

**emptyvoid** : aren’t they a bit impractical? how long do they take to do up every day?

**southernwatertribe.katara** : I’ve gotten better at it so it only takes me about thirty seconds now

**emptyvoid** : impressive

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Thank you!

**blind-bandit** : i don’t know what they look like but i’m sure they’re cute

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Why thank you, Toph!

**southernwatertribe.katara** : I’m glad you’re being nice for once.

**blind-bandit** : i’m always nice!! ur the uptight one you nosy little bitch!

**avatar_aang** : aaaaand she’s back

**boomerangguy** : all girls do is talk about hair

**blind-bandit** : and kick your ass

**kyoshiwarrior1** : point well made

**southernwatertribe.katara** : All you do is kiss girls and whack stuff with your boomerang

**boomerangguy** : what do you mean??

**boomerangguy** : im handsome and my boomerang skills are top-notch

**boomerangguy** : since when was that bad?

**kyoshiwarrior1** : you made out with _the moon spirit_

**firelord-zuko** : SO THAT’S WHAT HE MEANT

**boomerangguy** : wut

**firelord-zuko** : WHEN WE WERE ON THE BALLOON TO BOILING ROCK YOU SAID THAT YOUR FIRST GIRLFRIEND TURNED INTO THE MOON

**boomerangguy** : right

**firelord-zuko** : AT FIRST I THOUGHT YOU WERE HIGH LIKE WHY DOES HE THINK HIS GIRLFRIEND IS A CELESTIAL BODY

**firelord-zuko** : BUT I UNDERSTAND NOW

**southernwatertribe.katara** : With Sokka, it’s normal to think he’s high a lot of the time.

**kyoshiwarrior1** : but it turns out he’s just being sokka

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Exactly.


	5. In Which Aang is a Cheapskate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SOMEone has to babysit Appa and Momo...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> avatar_aang: Aang  
> southernwatertribe.katara: Katara  
> boomerangguy: Sokka  
> blind-bandit: Toph  
> firelord-zuko: Zuko  
> kyoshiwarrior1: Suki  
> emptyvoid: Mai  
> circusgirllll: Ty Lee

**avatar_aang:** hello good friends

**firelord-zuko:** hello

**boomerangguy:** hey

**blind-bandit:** what do you want aang

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Don’t be rude!

**avatar_aang:** i have a favor to ask of you

**boomerangguy:** all of us?

**avatar_aang:** ye

**avatar_aang:** i need someone to watch appa and momo for the day

**blind-bandit:** so you want us to be petsitters?

**avatar_aang:** just one of you is fine

**avatar_aang:** multiple people are good tho

**blind-bandit:** well im out. i can’t babysit im blind

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Blindness didn’t stop you from destroying a fire airship...

**blind-bandit:** that was different

**boomerangguy:** suki and i can do it

**blind-bandit:** keep it pg in front of the animals

**blind-bandit:** don’t think i can’t see you

**kyoshiwarrior1:**...you can’t see so yeah i don’t think you can see me

**blind-bandit:** figure of speech

**avatar_aang:** ANYWAY

**avatar_aang:** i still need a definitive petsitter

**firelord-zuko:** can’t, im going on a date with mai

**emptyvoid:** you had better

**circusgirllll:** appa doesn’t like me :(((

**avatar_aang:** come on! i’m sure he could forgive you!

**southernwatertribe.katara:** ...Not to speak for the sky bison or anything, but he doesn’t forgive easily.

**kyoshiwarrior1:** sokka and i will petsit appa and momo. could you give us some sort of list of their care instructions?

**avatar_aang:** ok

**avatar_aang:** momo’s favorite food is papaya with cream

**avatar_aang:** he sleeps for about 4hrs every afternoon so he’s not dead just napping

**avatar_aang:** his favorite color is green followed closely by orange

**avatar_aang:** in the late mornings he gets lonely so play with him then. he likes playing with the green ball. don’t let him eat any rice whatever you do. he gets gas

**kyoshiwarrior1:** noted

**blind-bandit:** what the fuck

**blind-bandit:** you’re spoiling momo

**avatar_aang:** no i am not he just has very specific needs

**boomerangguy:** what about appa

**avatar_aang:** his favorite color is red

**kyoshiwarrior1:** and?

**avatar_aang:** if momo smells like food then don’t let him near appa

**avatar_aang:** he likes apples, especially red ones but he’ll eat green ones if he’s really hungry. his favorite blanket is the fluffy red one katara made. make sure he doesn’t sleep all day or he’ll be awake all night. he likes oranges without the crust

** firelord-zuko: ** do u meen the coating

**southernwatertribe.katara:** I think you mean the peel

**avatar_aang:** right. anyway that’s the care instructions for appa and momo and also if they’re good then they can have a pear each as a treat

**kyoshiwarrior1:** will do

**avatar_aang:** ok bye guys katara and i have some sightseeing to do

**boomerangguy:** how much are you paying us?

**avatar_aang:** it is a privilege to watch over them

**avatar_aang:** if anything you should be paying me

**boomerangguy:** but i need the money

**avatar_aang:** gtg

**kyoshiwarrior1:** AANG


	6. In Which Uncle Iroh Joins the Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jasmineginsengoolong has joined the chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> avatar_aang: Aang  
> southernwatertribe.katara: Katara  
> boomerangguy: Sokka  
> blind-bandit: Toph  
> firelord-zuko: Zuko  
> kyoshiwarrior1: Suki  
> emptyvoid: Mai  
> circusgirllll: Ty Lee  
> jasmineginsengoolong: Uncle Iroh

_**jasmineginsengoolong** added **jasmineginsengoolong** to the chat_

**jasmineginsengoolong :** Hello.

**firelord-zuko:** uncle why are you here

**jasmineginsengoolong :** That’s no way to greet your favorite uncle!

**firelord-zuko:** how did you get on this chat no one added you

**jasmineginsengoolong :** How rude of them.

**firelord-zuko:** how did you get here

**jasmineginsengoolong :** I added myself, of course!

**blind-bandit:**...wut

**jasmineginsengoolong:** Ah, hello, Toph!

**blind-bandit:** hi

**blind-bandit:** im still confused as to how you added yourself but ok

**southernwatertribe.katara:** You’re always confused about one thing or another. :)

**blind-bandit:** try me

**jasmineginsengoolong :** Now now, that’s no way to treat your friends!

**blind-bandit:** i always treat my friends in ways some might describe as rude or violent tbh

**blind-bandit:** hitting people with rocks/my fists is how i show affection

**boomerangguy:** no offense toph, but you may need a better way to show affection that doesn’t involve hurting people

**boomerangguy:** i still have bruises

**blind-bandit:** weak

**avatar_aang:** settle down!!

**blind-bandit:** i guess this means i can’t curse in the chat anymore

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Oh, what travesty

**blind-bandit:** shut up

**southernwatertribe.katara:** No.

**boomerangguy:** so! mr. iroh, what brings you to this chat?

**jasmineginsengoolong :** Oh, no reason, I just wanted to see what my nephew and his friends are doing.

**blind-bandit:** um

**kyoshiwarrior1:** um

**boomerangguy:** um

**jasmineginsengoolong :** What?

**kyoshiwarrior1:** nothing sir, it’s just that we’re probably not what you’re used to.

**jasmineginsengoolong :** I learned firebending from the dragons! Nothing can faze me.

**blind-bandit:** what about katara when you put bugs in her shampoo and she makes wild accusations about who did it and threatens to waterbend your arms from your torso until you take every single bug out of her shampoo and buy her a new bottle to boot but you get back at her by stealing all of her hair bead thingies so she has to go buy new ones and to this day she doesn’t know it was you

**emptyvoid:** that was oddly specific

**blind-bandit:** so it was.

**southernwatertribe.katara:** 𝙏 𝙊 𝙋 𝙃

**blind-bandit:** 𝓚 𝓐 𝓣 𝓐 𝓡 𝓐

**jasmineginsengoolong :** Oh dear.

**emptyvoid:** my recommendation is to escape while you still can

**circusgirllll:** but you’re still here! <3

**emptyvoid:** i was consumed. i was simply recommending to newcomers to get out while they still can

**blind-bandit:** HELP ME GUYS KATARAS COMING AT ME AND SHE DOESNT FEEL HAPPY

**blind-bandit:** she walked right past me wtf

**southernwatertribe.katara:** That’s called psychological torture. You never know when I’ll strike. :)

**blind-bandit:** ur evil

**jasmineginsengoolong :** Zuko, are your friends always so cutthroat?

**firelord-zuko:** usually more so tbh

**jasmineginsengoolong :** Interesting.

**firelord-zuko:** except aang and maybe sokka and suki sometimes

**firelord-zuko:** otherwise yeah

**jasmineginsengoolong :** Ah, of course! All the more reason to stay. You never know when you might need a proverb!

**firelord-zuko:** 𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙡𝙚 𝙣𝙤

**jasmineginsengoolong :** 🍵


	7. In Which The Gaang Makes Sure Vine Will Never Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is Wednesday my dudes!
> 
> (It’s actually Monday, but whatever.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own any of the Vines quoted.
> 
> avatar_aang: Aang  
> southernwatertribe.katara: Katara  
> boomerangguy: Sokka  
> blind-bandit: Toph  
> firelord-zuko: Zuko  
> kyoshiwarrior1: Suki  
> emptyvoid: Mai  
> circusgirllll: Ty Lee

**boomerangguy:** road work ahead

**southernwatertribe.katara:**?

**blind-bandit:** UH YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES

**avatar_aang:**??

**firelord-zuko:** wat

**southernwatertribe.katara:** I don’t get it.

**boomerangguy:** you disappoint me

**blind-bandit:** and they were roommates!

**boomerangguy:** oh my god they were roommates

**firelord-zuko:** someone please explain

**blind-bandit:** if you don’t know what we’re talking about you don’t deserve to have one of us tell you

**boomerangguy:** vine is something acquired, not taught

**blind-bandit:** exactly

**avatar_aang:** Vine??? Like the swampbenders????

**blind-bandit:** holy fucking spirits it’s worse than we feared

**boomerangguy:** here let me see what you have!

**blind-bandit:** A KNIFE

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Put it down!

**boomerangguy:** No!

**blind-bandit:** LMAOOOOO

**firelord-zuko:** SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN

**boomerangguy:** hey can I get a sip of that water

**blind-bandit:** it’s not water

**southernwatertribe.katara:** You two are freaking me out.

**boomerangguy:** vodka! i like your style

**southernwatertribe.katara:** BOTH OF YOU ARE UNDERAGE

**blind-bandit:** it’s vinegar.

**firelord-zuko:** what

**boomerangguy:** what

**blind-bandit:** IT’S VINEGAR

**avatar_aang:** i am so confused

**southernwatertribe.katara:** So am I.

**boomerangguy:** jared can you read number 19 for the class?

**blind-bandit:** no i cannot.

**blind-bandit:** what up i’m jared i’m 19 and i never fucking learned how to read 

**southernwatertribe.katara:** We know?? You’re blind???

**avatar_aang:** and you’re not 19????

**firelord-zuko:** and wtf kind of name is jared anyway???

**boomerangguy:** i cannot believe you people.

**blind-bandit:** i thought surely theyd know jared age 19!

**boomerangguy:** same

**avatar_aang:** SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT‘S GOING ON

**blind-bandit:** back at it again at krispy kreme

**southernwatertribe.katara:** WHAT IS KRISPY KREME

**kyoshiwarrior1:** *back handspring* *kicks down sign*

**blind-bandit:** YOOOOOOOOOO  


**boomerangguy:** I LOVE YOU SUKI

**boomerangguy:** EVEN MORE THAN I DID BEFORE

**southernwatertribe.katara:** So you’re in on this vine thing too?

**kyoshiwarrior1:** yup

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Can you please tell me what it is??

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Is it a secret society or something???

**blind-bandit:** oh honey 

**kyoshiwarrior1:** do you ever want to talk about your emotions tiegen

**blind-bandit:** no

**firelord-zuko:** we knew that already?

**boomerangguy:** i do!

**kyoshiwarrior1:** i know david

**avatar_aang:** his name is sokka??

**boomerangguy:** im sad.

**avatar_aang:** oh no!!

**kyoshiwarrior1:** i know david

**avatar_aang:** what can i do to cheer you up sokka?

**boomerangguy:** hey babe. happy one year.

**kyoshiwarrior1:** i’m twenty seven

**firelord-zuko:** NO YOU ARE NOT SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN

**emptyvoid:** look at this graph

**blind-bandit:** MAI

**emptyvoid:** yeah?

**blind-bandit:** YOU KNOW VINES?

**emptyvoid:** they’re culture. ofc

**firelord-zuko:** PLEASE TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON

**emptyvoid:** sorry. vine is something learned not told

**boomerangguy:** happy birthday raven!

**blind-bandit:** i can’t swim

**avatar_aang:** yes we knew that

**circusgirllll:** can i get a waffle? ^^

**blind-bandit:** TY LEEEEE

**circusgirllll:** can i PLEASE get a waffle? :D :D :D

**boomerangguy:** release all of the sounds that are trapped in your mind

**emptyvoid:** REEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH

**blind-bandit:** SCREEEEEEEAAAAAA

**kyoshiwarrior1:** KREEEEEEEAAAH

**southernwatertribe.katara:** WHAT IS HAPPENING

**circusgirllll:** we’re releasing the sounds trapped in our minds!! :D

**blind-bandit:** you better watch out

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Why?

**boomerangguy:** you better watch out

**kyoshiwarrior1:** YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

**firelord-zuko:** i’m scared

**circusgirllll:** YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

**firelord-zuko:** believe me i am

**emptyvoid:** cabbatsu

**circusgirllll:** cabbatsu

**blind-bandit:** ca-bba-tsu

**avatar_aang:** is this a cult

**boomerangguy:** LETTUSU

**blind-bandit:** LETTUSU

**kyoshiwarrior1:** LE-TTU-SU

**emptyvoid:** you could say that

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Aang, will any of the past avatars know about this vine thing?

**avatar_aang:** good idea i’ll check

**boomerangguy:** 🎶 you are my dad  🎶

**blind-bandit:** you’re my dad!

**circusgirllll:** boogie woogie woogie!

**blind-bandit:** omfg aang honey

**avatar_aang:** roku has nothing

**avatar_aang:** trying kyoshi

**avatar_aang:** she said run in here and get your juice whatever that means

**kyoshiwarrior1:** MY QUEEN

**blind-bandit:** so, how is everything?

**firelord-zuko:** awful

**boomerangguy:** actually, the chicken’s a little dry

**blind-bandit:** *spits* how bout now

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Don’t spit in his food!

**emptyvoid:** happy crismis

**avatar_aang:** what

**circusgirllll:** is crizmiz!

**kyoshiwarrior1:** merry chrisus

**firelord-zuko:** h u h

**blind-bandit:** merry chrysler

**avatar_aang:** what is chrysler??

**blind-bandit:** honestly i have no idea

**boomerangguy:** BRAUGH!

**kyoshiwarrior1:** stop, i coulda dropped my croissant!

**firelord-zuko:** what’s a croissant

**southernwatertribe.katara:** I’ve had enough of you all

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Signing off

**blind-bandit:** wait!

**southernwatertribe.katara:** What now?

**blind-bandit:** i care about you

**southernwatertribe.katara:** it’s so nice to hear you say that!

**blind-bandit:** here’s some pinecones on a stick. you’re lovely

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Goodbye.

_**southernwatertribe.katara** has left the chat. _


	8. In Which Toph Finally Gets What She Wants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toph would like to punch things, thank you very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> avatar_aang: Aang  
> southernwatertribe.katara: Katara  
> boomerangguy: Sokka  
> blind-bandit: Toph  
> firelord-zuko: Zuko  
> kyoshiwarrior1: Suki

**blind-bandit** : zukooooooo

**firelord-zuko** : what now

**blind-bandit:** guess what i want

**boomerangguy** : my head on a platter

**blind-bandit:** you overestimate your importance. that would be a waste of a perfectly good platter

**boomerangguy** : ouch

**blind-bandit** : lol anyway ZUKOOOOO

**firelord-zuko** : what????

**blind-bandit** : hi

**firelord-zuko:** ...

**blind-bandit** : lmao

**blind-bandit** : but fr where’s my life changing field trip

**blind-bandit:** i’ve been more than patient

**southernwatertribe.katara:** You’re never patient.

**blind-bandit:** thems the facts

**blind-bandit:** i have waited an entire three months zuko

**blind-bandit** : life changing field trip. now.

**firelord-zuko:** i’m starting to fear for my life

**boomerangguy** : you should

**blind-bandit:** you should

**kyoshiwarrior1** : if it makes you feel better i never got a life changing field trip either

**kyoshiwarrior1** : but i guess the amount of bs i put up with as his bodyguard makes up for it

**firelord-zuko:** what bs???

**kyoshiwarrior1** : you literally left a note on the throne saying ‘gone insane come back soon’ and we found you submerged up to your neck in the turtle duck pond letting  nature reclaim you

**avatar_aang** : that’s not healthy??

**avatar_aang** : you need a better stress relief outlet

**firelord-zuko** : don’t i know it

**blind-bandit:** hello??? i’m the one you should be focusing on here

**blind-bandit:** life. changing. field trip.

**blind-bandit:** OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES

**firelord-zuko:** ok where do you want to go

**blind-bandit** : yaaaay!

**boomerangguy** : you’re gonna give in just like that?

**firelord-zuko:** and you would try to resist?

**boomerangguy:** fair

**blind-bandit:** i wanna go to the swamp!!

**firelord-zuko** : ...where might that be?

**avatar_aang** : so before you or toph joined the team, katara, sokka, and i went to this giant swamp

**southernwatertribe.katara** : We had visions. It was scary.

**boomerangguy** : don’t remind meeeee

**boomerangguy** : anyway where did you hear about the swamp?

**blind-bandit** : aang told me he had a vision of me in it

**blind-bandit** : so i want to punch the lights out of it for invading my privacy as an individual

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Excuse me???

**blind-bandit:** the swamp didn’t ask my permission before giving aang a vision of me.

**blind-bandit** : that’s a violation of my rights

**avatar_aang** : ...not sure that’s how that works?

**blind-bandit:** then tell me, o wise avatar, how does it work?

**avatar_aang** : spirity stuff

**boomerangguy** : thank u for your wisdom o wise avatar

**avatar_aang** : you’re welcome!

**blind-bandit:** whatever the case, i just wanna punch a swamp

**blind-bandit:** is that too much to ask??

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Yes.

**kyoshiwarrior1** : i’m not sure how one would punch an entire ecosystem but all right

**boomerangguy** : go punch it toph!!

**avatar_aang** : please don’t resort to violence

**firelord-zuko** : what have i gotten myself into

**blind-bandit** : cmon, fireboy. let’s go

**firelord-zuko:** fireboy???

**blind-bandit:** yes

**blind-bandit:** i’ll think of a better name on the way

**avatar_aang** : i thought i was the only one who got a dumb nickname ;-;

**blind-bandit:** it’s a rite of passage to be given a nickname

**southernwatertribe.katara** : It’s more like forcefully having a nickname slammed onto you, but yes. I’m Sugar Queen and Sweetness.

**boomerangguy** : did i ever get a nickname?

**blind-bandit** : o great schedule master was one

**boomerangguy** : still am

**blind-bandit:** but i could always just call you moonfucker

**blind-bandit** : anyway ZUKO WHEN DO WE LEAVEEEEEE

**southernwatertribe.katara** : ARE WE GOING TO IGNORE THE FACT TOPH WANTS TO CALL SOKKA MOONF******

**kyoshiwarrior1** : wait what??

**boomerangguy** : IT WASN’T LIKE THAT I SWEAR

**blind-bandit** : lmaooooo

**firelord-zuko** : wait did sokka actually

**kyoshiwarrior1** : sokka you said you didn’t?

**boomerangguy** : GUYS I DIDN’T TOPH IS JUST TERRIBLE

**boomerangguy** : TOPH I SWEAR IM GOING TO DO SOMETHING HORRIBLE TO YOU

**blind-bandit:** ooh. scary

**blind-bandit:** by that time i’m gonna be punching my way thru a swamp. you’ll never find me

**kyoshiwarrior1** : what about the path of destruction you would leave in your wake

**blind-bandit** : that might be an issue

**firelord-zuko:** don’t kill anyone, ok?

**blind-bandit** : if that’s your highest bar im already on board

**southernwatertribe.katara:** Don’t break the law, ok?

**blind-bandit** : lol


	9. In Which Sokka Never Learns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m very sorry for the super-long wait. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

** boomerangguy:  ** aaaeeeesssuuki

**kyoshiwarrior1** : yes?

**boomerangguy** : dnnnt’ tellenyonebut,,,i have acrushh on yooo.u

**kyoshiwarrior1** : we’re dating but okay

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Sokka, are you drunk?

**boomerangguy** : nnooo?

**avatar_aang** : not drunkk.. caactuss;joose

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Oh no

**blind-bandit** : ohhh yes

**firelord-zuko** : Why am I always the only one with no idea what’s going on

**avatar_aang** : sokjsa;;i havea crushon yyour sisrhrer

**avatar_aang** : donn;t ttekl ANNYOME

** emptyvoid ** : he says in the group chat

**southernwatertribe.katara** : I’ll have to quote suki: we’re dating but okay

**boomerangguy** : yourr secresst saffw witg me, aang 

**southernwatertribe.katara** : But in all seriousness, where are you? And where did you get cactus juice?

**avatar_aang** : dunn o..

**firelord-zuko** : what is cactus juice???

**southernwatertribe.katara** : It’s the name we gave this liquid Sokka found inside a cactus when we were stranded in a desert o ne time. After he drank it, he was kind of out of it for about a day afterwards.

**blind-bandit** : and now aang has some too

**blind-bandit** : ooh SHIT this’ll be fuuuunnn

**southernwatertribe.katara** : It’s not fun!

**blind-bandit** : i mean, it kind of is? the great wise avatar absolutely tripping balls on cactus juice. this is the stuff of legends. zuko, start writing this down in the book of fire nation history

**circusgirllll** : i think i tried cactus juice once!

**southernwatertribe.katara** : W H A T

**emptyvoid** : ...excuse me?

**blind-bandit** : HELL YEAH TY LEE

**circusgirllll** : at the circus! a juggler had bought a bottle of this pale liquid one time and he let us try some. it made everyone happy, but they all said weird stuff, and when i tried it everything went all squiggly

**emptyvoid** : squiggly being a technical term, i assume?

**circusgirllll** : yup!

**southernwatertribe.katara** : ...That’s cactus juice all right.

**boomerangguy** : zukoo;! mai.hass acrush on yuo!

**firelord-zuko** : ...I know? 

**emptyvoid** : oh no. my secret is out. sokka how could you.

**boomerangguy** : haheheahaa

**blind-bandit** : hey sokka where can i get some of this cactus juice?

**southernwatertribe.katara** : TOPH NO

**emptyvoid** : while you’re at it can I have some too

**southernwatertribe.katara** : MAI

**firelord-zuko** : yall are giving katara about fifteen heart attacks at once

**blind-bandit** : lmao

**avatar_aang** : we’ree..at the warf

**avatar_aang** : **wharf

**avatar_aang** : theres a guywith’ a cactus joose standd;

**blind-bandit** : all right coming over there now

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Not if I get there first

**boomerangguy** : nnOOo k;atarra

**boomerangguy** : don:t comm

**boomerangguy** : you/ll bbreak itt

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Darn right I will.

**avatar_aang** : noo.oo

**avatar_aang** : uy’ll disstroye th. guy;s liveliihodd

**emptyvoid** : yeah katara

**emptyvoid** : the hallucinogenic plant economy needs to flourish or the world will crumble down around us

**boomerangguy** : yeh!! u arr so RIGHHT. nno wondder zu;o likkes u

**boomerangguy** : soree;!! wass i nott supposadd to tell??

**firelord-zuko** : ...it’s fine.

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Does anyone know their location?

**avatar_aang** : wharf

**blind-bandit** : wut

**avatar_aang** : har;;ber. harber

**circusgirllll** : harbor?

**avatar_aang** : yeaa;! harbor

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Which harbor, Aang?

**avatar_aang** : th wone1,, by theewatter,

**circusgirllll** : but aren’t all harbors by water??

**avatar_aang** : butf THISS wun, iss by LOTS o watter

**avatar_aang** : thhere;s a giannt cat!

**avatar_aang** : itss on th waterr

**avatar_aang** : cann”t miss itt

**blind-bandit** : giant cat?? is he hallucinating or smth?

**firelord-zuko** : is it a boat that looks like a cat somehow?

**circusgirllll** : is it appa?

**southernwatertribe.katara** : ...What?

**circusgirllll** : appa kinda looks like a giant six-legged white cat with a flat tail if you squint a little :)

**blind-bandit** : i can totally see what u mean!

**circusgirllll** : i know right???

**circusgirllll** : wait

**circusgirllll** : toph WHYYYY

**blind-bandit** : hehehhehehehe

**southernwatertribe.katara** : I think we’re missing the point. Sokka and Aang are both high on cactus juice and we don’t know  where they are. That is not a good thing.

**boomerangguy** : boojmeranng!;!’ it ccame bac;!

**kyoshiwarrior1** : did you throw it at something?

**boomerangguy** : nno.’..itj ust camm back

**boomerangguy** : its liek

**boomerangguy** : its like ut nevr lefft

**emptyvoid** : i knew he was a few dumplings short of a dango, but this is ridiculous

**avatar_aang** : thhat;s meen!!

**blind-bandit** : a few grains short of a rice bowl

**boomerangguy** : rrUde:!

**southernwatertribe.katara** : No shit I am coming over there and putting whoever sold you this out of business.

**boomerangguy** : nno’1!

**southernwatertribe.katara** : He should know better than to serve cactus juice to the Avatar.

**southernwatertribe.katara** : I am taking Appa and am going to find you.

**southernwatertribe.katara** : No matter what.

**blind-bandit** : ah shit she’s in Mother Mode

**blind-bandit** : stay back guys

**southernwatertribe.katara** : I’m not motherly!

**boomerangguy** : sshe’’s ttoo scaryy to be mothherl’y righh now

**blind-bandit** : y’all stay away from sweetness or she’ll wreck yo shit

**southernwatertribe.katara** : Damn straight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sokka by himself: master swordsman, kickass warrior, tactical genius  
> Aang by himself: the literal Avatar, 112 year old monk, can throw rocks, fire, etc. with his mind  
> Aang and Sokka together: heehoo cactus juice
> 
> Also, I love how Katara only swears when she’s in Mother Mode™.


End file.
